And because it’s an excuse to procrastinate: Live Blogging the 77th Annual Academy Awards!
8:34: Ok, the opening montage is a snoozapalooza.
8:37: No reaction shot on Nicole Kidman during her joke. Interesting. But there was a Kirsten Dunst reaction shot after the Toby Maguire joke.
8:38: OK, he seems to be done insulting most of Hollywood’s A-minus-listers.
8:39: Spike Lee: Ugly, ugly, ugly glasses.
8:43: B- on the monologue. Too much political stuff. Not really that funny. One hell of a dress that Halle’s wearing, though.
8:47: Renee’s gone brunette? Nice dress, and I like the train. Girl needs a In-And-Out Burger, though. Maybe two.
8:50: Go Morgan! A good sign for Jamie Foxx later for Best Actor. Slightly tangental: Clive Owen would make a great James Bond, I think.
8:51: Star Trek music? Is Patrick Stewart coming out?
8:57: Robin Williams was much, much funnier than Rock was. Loved the Nicholson. Plus a well-deserved win for The Incredibles (making Eisner’s public feud with Pixar look stupider by the minute…). And the model standing next to Robin Williams must be like 7 feet tall. He comes up to her bosom. I don’t think that he thinks it’s a bad thing.
9:01: The announcer-and-winners-in-the-audience thing doesn’t seem to be working.
9:02: Drew’s brunette too? What, is brown in this year?
9:04: Never having seen Beyonce sing live before, I can’t tell if her constantly looking stage right is a performance tic or if she’s looking for a prompter/cue cards…
9:13: Miss Johansson is really working that Marilyn thing, isn’t she? Her dress is very 1961.
9:19: Speaking of costumes, the Edna Mole bit is a bit over the top, but they must have rehersed a bit to get that down. The winner’s dress seemed to change color as she walked over pick up her award.
9:22: Looks like Howard Hughes is picking all the awards he’s up for. Mr. Cate Blanchett should have worn a tie, I would say, though. It’s the Oscars, for God’s sake; a tie wouldn’t have killed the man.
9:29: I’m not sure that a Carson tribute was such a good idea—it only serves to remind us how far the talent currently on the stage has to go.
9:34: Orlando Bloom and Miss Dunst on the stage together? Cheekbones of the world unite! And in the ongoing tally, Howard Hughes has won again. He must be a very happy man. And what is it with the 7-foot-tall models?
9:36: Adam Duritz is gonna hurt someone with that hair. And seriously, this song sounds like it could have been performed by the Monkees.
10:08: This Andrew Lloyd Webber song is making me nauseous. Admittedly, most of them do, but…
10:10: I do like Jeremy Irons’ coat.
10:12: Laura Linney—ease up on the Botox, willya?
10:21: That’s one hell of a dress that Miss Hayek’s got on. Yowza.
10:29: Who knew that Antonio Bandaras was a song-and-dance guy?
10:52: Yo-Yo Ma brings entirely unexpected culcha and class to Oscar. I wouldn’t get too worried though; I have ever expectation that they’ll go back to being crass and self-congratulatory by the time the next Best Song nominee is performed. Which would be right now.
10:59: Fake snow on stage! We’re gonna be getting a few bucketfuls of the real thing tomorrow…
11:00: I know I probably say this every year, but the nominees for Best Song really sucked. I believe that the word I’m looking for is “craptacular”. Quite embarrassing, I think, that they have Prince doing the award presentation…
11:01: Favorite Oscar acceptance speech ever? Only one word in English. Brilliant.
11:06: Did Hillary Swank put her dress on backwards? Well, at least we know that she doesn’t have one of those lower back tattoos. And really, she should have this short Oscar speech thing down by now, don’t you think?
11:26: Jamie Foxx, winner for Ray. Who didn’t see that one coming?
11:34: Upset of the night: Clint takes Best Director. And holy cow, they made that movie in only 37 days! This, of course, makes Best Picture for Clint a forgone conclusion at this point…
11:38: And Clint is officially crowned. It came down to Man With No Name against Howard Hughes, and Blondie walked away with the naked gold guy. Goodnight America!