January 2005 Archives

If I Wasn't Stuffed, This List Would Make Me Hungry

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Back By Popular Demand


It’s the return of the monthly title contest! Submit your favorite quote with the word ‘February’ in it in the comments. Winner gets their quote featured in the title bar and their site featured at the top of the rotating links for the month. Blah, blah, blah. You’ve all been here before, you know the drill. Go forth and quote!

Oh, and the deadline, since I was an idiot (again) and didn’t get this up until the day before February actually starts is, oh, let’s say Friday night, okay?

It's All About Communication Skills


Or, how to use punctuation in a highly passive-aggressive manner. You’ll feel much better after viewing this.

The New Something Or Other

An edited list of search requests, sorted alphabetically. Stolen from here. Note that some themes pop up again and again. For what it’s worth, “Cameltoe” is the #1 search request by a huge margin, so I guess this makes Cameltoe the new Leah McLaren.


10 deadly sins
1984 a lunatic a minority of one interpretation
19th street new york explosion chelsea


a list of drawbacks to being a photographer
advantages of being a photographer
alistair cookie
ave verum corpus


backgrounds for desktop amy brown
balls frozen brass monkey
barber of seville rock covers
beautiful asses
beer beer polka
better than cats
big airplane in cnn
billy crystal can sing
boys with toys
brain death
british slang nectarines


calf pain bruise
california snow pictures
canadians missing
cancun pigs
catfight girl
chess nuts boasting in an open foyer
compaq is like frankenstein
crossing the great waters
crystal meth making instructions


d-76 kodachrome
dark tourism
dating advice for british men
david gallagher naked
dean cain penis
dick wolf porn star
digimon porn
disadvantages of dating younger men
do guys get pms?
do men get pms
do men get pms?
do men have pms?
don johnson arrested in germany
don’t go to law school
doudoroff pronounce
drum girl


el porno de los 60
english men dating
explicated frankenstein


falling chair
famous philanderers
famous tunes
famouse canadians
first annual nude blog awards
fordham rejected me
forklift klaus download
frankenstein po polsku
frankenstein restaurant
friendster naked


germany dress
glade plugins
good nicknames
gourmet chocolate morningside heights


haggis recipies
hair skool
hairy girl
hamlet horatio slash
hector and paris slash
hong kong airport mongkok sex
hot chicks picks blogs
how blenders work
how to find a man in europe and leave him there
how to give blowjobs
how to make nukes
huge honkers


i need a nickname
in the balls
inducing labor with rasberry tea
inside a 747
instead of being a cause of international politics domestic structure
irony in frankenstein
is that a scroll in your toga


japanese hair cut in hk
jerry springer the opera


ken goldstein horror stories
koreans and north carolina


land ho
latin scroll toga happy to see me
love graffiti
ludivine sagnier
lunch meats
lying bastard


macbeth blood
machine in operation room
mafia costume idea
making love and having sex pictures and films
marcel proust how to spell the name
men and pms
men and their pms
men shagging pigs
men should wear tight jeans
most expensive food
most expensive house in the world
most expensive jewel
most expensive stadium the the world
most expensive steak in world


naked bowling
nazi werewolves casualties
not balding
nude blog
nude blogs
numbness in limbs


old ladies pee in a hospital gown in the hospital
original red sox t-shirts
ouch that hurts
our father in heaven please stay there


paul frank
paul frankenstein
paul hackett sucks
paul john george ringo
picture of famous food in macau
pictures of infected belly buttons
processed lunch meats
processing k-14 slides
psyche submissive male
pubic hair pictures


quantum tunnelling


rectal thermometer girl
rye whiskey cocktails


school of rock keyboard solo at the end
scroll happy see me
sea pigs
sex war of 1812
sofas plus
sore itchy bottom


that’s just wrong
toddler supermodels
trojan man
tuba mirum
tuck rule


umenyiora is the man


vegetarian haggis
vegetarian haggis recipe
viandante del cielo


weather god
what a vacuum is .org
what are the disadvantages of dating
what is in club soda?
won’t you take me to memphis


xchange film


yatta mighty video
yellow snow jpg
you asked for it you got it


zhao ziyang

If I was really ambitious, I’d link each search term to the appropriate entry. Yeah, right.

So a retired doctor and his wife buy a Doris Day DVD at the supermarket, and pop it in only to find that it’s actually an Italian porn film.

So what do they do? Sayeth the doctor: “My wife and I were very shocked but we watched it until the end because we couldn’t believe what we were seeing.”

Uh, yeah, right. That’s the ticket. Watched it to the end. Maybe they were expecting to see The Pajama Game after seeing all those young ladies lie back and think of Italy?

More Gratuitous Ümlaütage

Assorted bright twinkly things:

The Times says that the A and the C will be hosed for the next five years:

A fire … has crippled two of the city’s busiest subway lines, which might not be restored to normal capacity for three to five years.

Seriously. WTF?

Perhaps If This Lawyering Thing Doesn't Work Out


Would it kill the networks to hire play-by-play announcers who can accurately describe the action on the field?


Listening to George W. Bush speak off-the-cuff is a bit like watching Shaquille O’Neal shoot free throws. The anxiety produced by a sense of impending disaster is coupled with incredulity that someone in so exalted a position has failed to master one of the rudimentary skills of his profession.

From “Tangle Tongue” by William Norman Grigg.

I have more single, ünmatched dress socks than I have actual pairs of dress socks (dress=non-white).

How did this come to happen? Where do they go? Is there a dimension for unpair’d socks to go? Do they hang out in singles bars for socks?

I Heärt The Ïnternët


Wikipedia on the Heavy metal umlaut:

At one Mötley Crüe performance in Germany, the entire audience started chanting, "Moertley Creuh!"

Perhaps I should change my name to Päül Fränkënstëïn.

Ballooning in Washington, or, What Not To Do Today


Our friends at buckfush.com have put up a special report about Inaugural Balloons, since, as they put it, “After all, you wouldn’t want the President’s speech drowned out by the sounds of interceptor jets, would you?”

Whatever you do, don’t lose your balloons at 15 minute intervals, because if all of them were lost this way, at least one would most certainly be overhead during the Inauguration which would be a real disaster.

And in other news, Tony Pierce’s busblog has turned black today for some reason…

Gather 'Round My Friends


My sister will be performing later this week in the New York Chamber Opera’s production of Purcell’s Dido and Aeneas.

Performances are on the 20th (Thursday), the 22nd (Saturday), and the 24th (Monday) at the Leonard Nimoy/Thalia Theater at Symphony Space. You can buy tickets on-line here.

Check it out.

Return To The Rabbit Hole

A few loose ends to tie up before I dive back into the rabbit hole later this morning:

  • My regular email is back and working. If you sent email to my panix.com account this weekend, you should probably send it again if you want to make sure that I got it. What happened was that the panix.com domain was hijacked and redirected—in layman’s terms, it’s a bit like what would happen if someone filled out a change of address form for an entire company. Here’s an official FAQ about the incident.

  • Late Friday night, walking down 14th Street near 2nd Avenue, a well-lit storefront, a hand-lettered sign on the door: “Boys Only!” Inside, seven or eight young men, busy knitting.

  • Later Friday night: discussing how some women, while never appearing to be without companion—escort, paramour, boyfriend—remain in perpetual state of singleness, while others, despite never appearing to have companion (escort, paramour, boyfriend) remain firmly non-single; a friend proposes a new dating strategy: only hit on women with boyfriends. Why? In such a case, one only has to compare favorably with one other—the boyfriend (there are probably transaction costs involved, but those were not discussed); if one is to only approach women without boyfriends, then one must compete with a potentially unlimited pool of others.

  • Speaking of dating strategies: How Gilligan Should Have approached Mary-Ann. Step One: “It all begins with a little flattery, particularly subtle but favorable comparisons to that hussy Ginger.”

  • And finally, what does it mean when my Contracts professor ends a grading memo by saying “I hope you all had a relaxing break. I didn’t.”? Is it a simple attempt to scare us? I sure hope so, ‘cause I can tell you that it worked.

What If, What If?

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Zhao Ziyang, a former Chinese leader who has been under house arrest since 1989 for supporting the student protesters in Tiananmen Square, has died.

Rebecca MacKinnon recalls an interview she did with Bao Tong, one of Zhao’s closest aides:

I think history will remember what he [Zhao] said: that problems must be solved in the framework of democracy and law. I believe that no major problem in China today can be solved outside of this framework. Not just corruption. Other problems are the same. Outside of the framework of democracy and law, none of China’s major problems can be solved. If we don’t solve problems within this framework we will certainly fail. For instance, the June 4 crackdown failed because it violated the principles of democracy and law. If the government reverses its position, it will definitely succeed because this would be in keeping with the framework of democracy and law.

Now look at this article about how behind-the-scenes maneuvering by Ukraine’s intelligence service may have prevented a bloodbath:

Among the protesters’ tents, an S.B.U. colonel who had spent the week as a liaison to the demonstration organizers alerted the organizers that troops were on their way.

His next mission was to meet the [Interior Ministry] troops as they drew near, he said, to warn their officers that a crackdown without written orders was illegal.

This only makes me wonder, what if, what if?

More Cafepress Stuff

Two more shirts: the first is a commentary on overly pretentious bloggers (yeah, you all know one—after all, you’re reading this)*:


Karaoke-copy.jpgThe second, dedicated to the warriors of the sport of Karaoke, is a co-production with my friend Patrick’s band Ganymede. What exactly is a karaoke vigilante? The phrase is taken from their song “Hong Kong” and is reputed to deal with a near-legendary incident in a karaoke bar; much beyond that, I’m not sure, but then again, do we really need reason beyond the fact that it sounds cool?

*If you really want to know where “personal literature” comes from, read this. No, I’m not proud.

I've Been To That Bar

The Shaky One demonstrates why a picture is worth a thousand words (or, in this case, $2, 354 Hong Kong dollars).

(I would imagine that most expats in Hong Kong have been to that bar, so I’m hardly claiming exclusivity here…)

And The People In The Library All Turned And Glared

Two of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time:

  • KDunk makes me burst out laughing in the library. Good thing school hasn’t actually started yet, ere there might have been a lot more people turning and glaring…

  • There’s an expression: ROTFLMAO (Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off), often used in exaggeration. While I perhaps wasn’t physically on the floor, LOD made me come dangerously close to falling off my chair—in the literal, cracked-tailbone sense—with this tale of doing laundry.

The Horror, The Horror


Cable modem down for 24/h+. Numbness in limbs, tingling, night sweats, moaning, fever, hours spent staring at the little blinking light on the cable modem.

I'd Like To Apologize In Advance


Coming soon to NBC: Law & Order: Intentional Torts, starring John Goodman as Ry Zwieback, head of the NYPD’s elite Bakery unit…

And You Thought AOL Was Evil

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Turns out that Verizon is blocking all email from Britain, Germany, France and Russia. The excuse is, of course, “spam prevention”. What’s the phrase I’m looking for? “Monumental stupidity”?

Advice to Verizon customers: get a Gmail account. In fact, I have some invites, so if are unfortunate enough to be a Verizon customer, drop me a line and I’ll hook you up.

And in other news, I’m eagerly awaiting the posting of my grades from the fall, if only because that’ll be the end of nightly, recurrent, dreams about grades. A man’s gotta get some sleep.

A quick look at the world outside New York:



And then I got on the train in Stamford and it promptly caught on fire.

So, I was wondering: who reads pf.org? Where are you from? What’s your name (or pseudonym, as the case may be) How did you get here?

2004: A Highly Biased Look Back At The Year In pf.org

Surgery blogging is the new black, don’tcha know?

Thanks to the Transfer. Happy New Year, everyone!