And In His Grave, Wagner Started Approaching Relativistic Velocities

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Even before I tell you that it’ll be released in January, you know that the movie version of Tristan & Isolde (and that’s how they spell it—with an ampersand) will suck in glorious fashion. But then you watch the trailer, and in mounting horror, read the title cards as they tell you that “Before Romeo and Juliet there was Tristan and Isolde”.

“Was”? WAS?

I’m not even going to go into the violence done the legend by the screenplay (and it does seem very unlikely that the score will feature extensive use of diminished minor seventh chords).

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I'm trying to figure out how to make that trailer worse. The only thing that springs to mind is adding the line:
"Quentin Tarantino directs..."

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