You know, Saint Valentine's Day is less than a month away at this point.
And I know that many of you are still struggling with what to get your loved one this year (I'm going to ignore all of you who're just struggling to get a loved one this year). You already exchanged Rolexes last year, chocolate will give you spots, and diamonds, well, they are a girl's best friend, but they are just so last year (not to mention that it's so hard to tell if they're African blood diamonds that are being used to finance a megalomaniac's scheme to take over... oh, that's a Bond movie?).
No, let's face it: for 2003, nothing says "I really, really, really love you" like something from the Paul Frankenstein Light Industries and Manufacturing Emporium. Fresh off of a $30 million renovation, the new store features a revised inventory, new products, and all sorts of other kinds of lovable goodness.
Really. Who needs flowers and jewlery, anyway? Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get to the courthouse to change my name to Loman, Willy Loman...