Recently in Crass Commercialism Category

Have A T-Shirt

I know, I waited a whole day to come up with this. What can I say? It’s harder than it looks.


Buy a shirt, support charity. What proceeds are made will be donated to Hurricane Katrina relief, either the Red Cross or Habitat for Humanity.

Glass For Sale


BTW, I’m trying to sell a 42-inch glass tabletop. If you’re interested, drop me a line and mention this site for the hefty discount…

More Cafepress Stuff

Two more shirts: the first is a commentary on overly pretentious bloggers (yeah, you all know one—after all, you’re reading this)*:


Karaoke-copy.jpgThe second, dedicated to the warriors of the sport of Karaoke, is a co-production with my friend Patrick’s band Ganymede. What exactly is a karaoke vigilante? The phrase is taken from their song “Hong Kong” and is reputed to deal with a near-legendary incident in a karaoke bar; much beyond that, I’m not sure, but then again, do we really need reason beyond the fact that it sounds cool?

*If you really want to know where “personal literature” comes from, read this. No, I’m not proud.

Because I Know That Everyone Wants to Do More Shopping

You’re spent the past few days in the midst of the epic post-Thanksgiving shopping season, fighting off hordes of shoppers with paper bags, but there’s just that one person who you just can’t find the right gift for (indeed, it might even be you!). Well, it’s lucky for you that I’ve just added some new shirts to the cafepress store!


They’re just the thing, and everyone will be wearing them next year! So get on the bandwagon early!

(I know that some most of these are redesigns of shirts I had once ‘retired’. Sue me.)

Red Sox T-Shirts For Sale!

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WhyFrank Enterprises is proud to bring you the Reverse Curve Curse t-shirt, just in time for the World Series:


Go buy one (or two, or three) now!

(Original art by the Massachusetts Highway Department and Anonymous; digital art and concept by Mike Whybark; Photoshop tweaking and capitalism by yours truly)

UPDATE: The shirts have been slightly modified in light of recent events.


BTW, CafePress has added colored shirts to their stock. Just thought that I’d mention it.

The House Of Dead Leaves


So, who out there would be interested in a dead-tree version of

Happy Happy Customers

stoplooking.gifIn case anyone out there was wondering what one of the Emporium's shirts looked like on a real-live human being, you might want to check this out. And then after you've gone and ogled that picture, you should probably go back to the emporium and buy one (or two, or three, or even four)—if not for you, then your loved one(s).

I would be remiss if I did not point out that if you're still looking for gifts, the internet emporium has everything you would ever need for a last-minute gift!

(and if you're in New York City on Sunday, you can probably pick up some neat stuff at this fair/bazaar/marketplace thing...)

That is all.

Turkey Coma

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newshirts1103.gifIf, like me, you hate the post-Thanksgiving commercial frenzy, why not try to do all your holiday shopping with your mouse at the Internet Emporium, where you can find something for everyone (as long as they like t-shirts with pithy slogans and catchy sayings on them)! Buy one for your girlfriend, your boyfriend, or both! Three new blog-inspired designs are introduced this week, as well as the long-overdue redesign and return of the instant internet classic, "Friends Don't Let Friends Blog Drunk..."