So I went ahead and played around with the infamous Match.com physical attraction test. The results were actually kinda shocking; according to the report, I like:
- Pretty girls
- between the ages of 25 and 40
- with good cheekbones
- and red hair
- and green eyes
Green eyes? I never noticed I had a thing for green eyes before! Shit! Crap! Never knew! Fuck! Damn!
So, with my soul already shaken from the stunning revelation that I like green eyes (actually, I’ve never really keyed on eyes; more to the point, I have a friend who keeps complaining that I keep calling her green eyes blue), I went ahead and took their personality test. The results? Well, see for yourself (relevant part conveniently highlighted):
One percent? Johnny Damon Jesus Christ! With this kind of encouragement, it kinda makes me wonder if Match.com is trying to drive sales of these and these.
Another view of those tests: lindsayism.com
Paul, Paul. I got 2% very attracted and only like 9% even a bit attracted. You're doing fine. Remember, anyway, girls don't like boys girls like drugs and money.
Astonishing! You like "pretty girls?" That's some test. I wonder if it would tell me I like handsome or good looking men. Nah...
As lame as it seems, Katherine, I found out I like handsome men over 30, as well as those who are "clean shaven, have clear skin, and get good hair cuts". Who'd of thunk?
I'm on match.com... and now you've inspired me to put my percentages on my site... oh dear. Taking personality test now. Oy.