The Price Is Right

Dear Noted Relationship Expert,

What is it with men? Every time I get involved with a guy, it's just seems that all they're really interested in is the sex. I mean, I like sex too, but I want something more. I want a deeper relationship, something more, I guess, meaningful. It's like they're not interested in me unless I'm on my back (or knees, or ...). I want them to love me, not just to screw me. So tell me: will I ever find true love?


Lost and Looking

Dear Lost and Looking,

Try dating guys who aren't jerks.


The Noted Relationship Expert


I have some advice: Get fat or in some other way less appealing. Then, they'll definitely be less likely to be after some ass.

My bad. Just feeling crazed and cynical.

ow fish.

and NRE how the heck do you find guys who aren't jerks? do you suggest wearing a sign around ones neck saying you may only talk to me if you're not a jerk?

actually one of the best suggestions i've head this past week was to consider dating men who are not my type. maybe i should seriously consider that sign.

Goddammit, February is completely awful. Just hideously bad. Let's all go to sleep and wake up around March 10 or something...

The groundhogs are with you on the last motion, Mr. Goldstein.

Seriously, does anybody know anybody who's having a good February? This is the worst month ever. I hate you February.

Hmmm...back to the topic at hand...could that work, actively seeking somebody that wasn't one's type? On the one hand I know what my type is, at least the type of woman I am most immediately and often attracted to, and I know that my most successful relationship was with somebody almost exactly opposite that type. But that was a special situation, and I can't imagine having actively gone out and casted against type, so to speak.

i agree ken - i know no one who's having a good february. where is the noted relationship expert to advise us now? now in the winter of our discount tent.

I got a job this month. And dumped a loser. Those are good things. But I've had a horrid couple of years and it's goddamn time things turned around.

For those having a bad month - chin up. The weekend and March will soon be here.

And Paul, you crack me up. Your post made me laugh out loud.

Okay, so there's Jane. And Norah Jones. So we've got two.

Here's my suggestion: find a chubby balding guy with glasses (or contacts). Everyone knows we make the best lovers (we'll do anything to keep the woman we're with happy. Just so long as she never leaves. Ever. EVER.)

My experience has shown that you can meet a man who is def not a jerk. Everyone but everyone simply loves him because he is kind, considerate, fun, and most definitely unjerkful. Then you go out on a date with him. And then another. And maybe you sleep with him eventually. And then he becomes a jerk. But just to you. It isn't just me. This has happened to me more than once. This has happened to every woman I know. Honestly.
So how does one find a non-jerk who will remain a non-jerk, even while dating him?

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