Since people seem to like it when I write about love, sex, and pubic hair (an interesting case of life-not-imitating-art), I'm proud to present the return of The Noted Relationship Expert.
Dear Noted Relationship Expert,
Can you tell me why I'm attracted to monsters? Men who are bad for me?
Puzzled,
Mina Harker
Dear Mina,
I have yet to meet a woman who wasn't attracted to men who were bad for her.
That's the short answer.
The long answer is really complicated and involves primate anthropology, shifting views of societal gender roles, natural selection pressure, pheromones, and behavioral studies of Krispy Kreme customers.
In your particular case, Ms. Harker, you might also see if you're susceptible to Central European accents and/or tall, pale men in formalwear.
Actually I do lust after Ralph Fiennes - particularly when he's dressed in tails. How did you know?
What puzzles me is that you say "I have yet to meet a woman who wasn't attracted to men who were bad for her." Well then the women you've dated, wouldn't they conceivably be attracted to you and would that make you a monster? Which is sadly as I don't want to start believing that all men are monsters. Surely there must be at least a few unattached superheroes out there?