We were talking about it at dinner today—it would seem that the first airplane I ever flew on was probably a Pan Am 747.

Of course, that was back in the day when the airlines still did things like hand out playing cards….

Seriously, I like modern design and all, and on some of the pages you can kinda see what the designers were going for, but my god, your retinas will burn.

And in related news, Stephen Fry has released a podcast (which, for some unknown reason he calls podgrams) wherein he discusses Oscar Wilde, violence in America, and the value of interior design (it’s the most recent one unless you’re reading this after he released subsequent podcasts; also, for those who prefer consuming their words printed rather than aurally, there’s a fan transcript, too).

Back by popular demand:

Offense:

• QB: John David Booty, Minnesota. Who’s going to be the first over-eager play-by-play guy to describe a scrambling Booty: and Booty shakes his bootie…
• RB: Tashard Choice, Dallas. This was a tough choice. Some excellent names in the RB category (and in the CB category, too, but that’s not what’s we’re talking about right now).
• RB: Xavier Omon, Buffalo. The first of two Xaviers on this list.
• WR: Early Doucet, Arizona. Let’s hope for the sake of Buzzsaw fans that he doesn’t leave the NFL early.
• WR: Limas Sweed, Pittsburgh. Berman’s gonna call him “Limas ‘Bean’ Sweed”.
• TE: Martellus Bennett, Dallas. Rhymes with Marcellus Wallace. Hopefully comes without the band-aid on the back of the head.
• OT: Gosder Cherilus, Detroit. Maybe GM will come out with the Chevy Cherilus.
• OT: Breno Giacomini, Green Bay. Giacomo Puccini was blindsided by the illness that eventually killed him. Green Bay just wants Giacomini to protect the blindside.
• OG: Oniel Cousins, Baltimore. He’s a family man.
• OG: Mackenzy Bernadeau, Carolina. That names looks like it wouldn’t be out of place on the back of a NHL sweater.
• C: Kory Lichtensteiger, Denver. His parents got naming advice from Roger Clemens.

Defense:

• DT: Kentwan Balmer, San Francisco. Kentwan, you will be Qui-jon’s new padewan.
• DT: Letroy Guion, Minnesota. A guion is a subatomic particle. And if it’s not, it should be.
• DE: Vernon Gholston, NY Jets. Can’t stop thinking about Fhloston Paradise.
• DE: Andrew Studebaker, Philadelphia. I really hope he’s into classic cars.
• MLB: Beau Bell, Cleveland. Two voiced bilabial plosives in a row! How can the announcers go wrong here?
• OLB: Jerod Mayo, New England. You already know what they’re going to say when a blocker grabs a handful of his jersey and gets flagged for it.
• OLB: Xavier Adibi, Houston. The other Xavier. I wonder if they pronounce their name “EX-avier” or “Zavier”?
• CB: Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, Arizona. In the off-season he relaxes by playing polo at his 4,000 acre estate in Scotland.
• CB: Reggie Corner, Buffalo. Talk about a man born to do the job.
• S: Caleb Campbell, Detroit. Two voiceless velar plosives in a row! How can the announcers go… well, you know that somone’s gonna screw it up.
• S: Haruki Nakamura, Baltimore. Celebrates each interception with an improvised haiku: A fluttering ball/strong hands pluck it from the air/returned all the way

Related: the 2003 team, the 2006 team, and the 2007 team.

Of course, the greatest mass-murder in the Bible is God himself, who drowns the entire planet—men, woman, children, animals—save for those on Noah’s ark (as a side note, presumably fish, amphibians, and waterfowl made it through the flood fine, but I don’t think those are mentioned specifically).

When me get back to apartment, after cookie binge, me can’t stand looking in mirror—fur matted with chocolate-chip smears and infested with crumbs. Me try but me never able to wash all of them out. Me don’t think me is monster. Me just furry blue person who love cookies too much. Me no ask for it. Me just born that way.

The perils of self-awareness.

The great David Weinberger explains the Two-Thirds Life Crisis and how it differs from the mid-life crisis.

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