Daisy Dukes

10 very short shorts, for your pleasure:

1. “Isn’t it true that when you left your house you were wearing socks, but when you came back, you were sockless?” The jury deliberated for less than a day.
2. It’s a little known fact that elephant tusks are very sensitive; whenever someone plays the piano, somewhere an elephant laughs.
3. “The acorn must be planted in fertile soil to grow in to a strong oak,” the serious young man with the curly hair said. “You’re so full of shit,” she said.
4. Janie’s mousse unknowingly ended up as the exact image of Ghot’al, the Xiamaniani Plasma God; interplanetary war could have been avoided if it hadn’t been for dessert at the Webber-Sinclair wedding.
5. If it hadn’t been for two brave teenagers with a hairdryer, that night would have been known as the Great Hill Valley Snowman Massacre.
6. A body, a bathtub, expensive bath salts; “I always thought that drowning in lavender was a figure of speech,” said Detective Scott.
7. Later, when they would look back on it, they would realize that it was the cashmere coat that broke the camel’s back. Unfortunately, she was their last camel and they were 400 miles from the next oasis.
8. Unshaved, uncouth, and all too often overserved, his standard salutation to strangers was “Charmed, I’m sure.” Inexplicably, they often were.
9. Two men, white short-sleeved button-down shirts, black ties. “What if we told them… that it’s quilted?”
10. It may have been the end of the world, but she was going to have her oatmeal mask first. Ragnarok deserves nothing less than healthy skin.