At least that’s what I’ve been told.
Today’s winner comes from “Inhalant F. Cuticles”, pitching assorted prescription drugs. Not content with assuming that I suffer from erectile dysfunction badly enough that I would require not one, but two different impotence drugs, Mr. Cuticules also offers speed (in the form of ‘diet pills’), anti-depressants (I suppose that if one is in bad enough shape to require two different kinds of erection pills, anti-depressants would not be out of order), plus, as a bonus, Valium and Xanax, the latter to presumably assuage my worries about the possible side-effects of the noxious drug cocktail that’s on offer.
Perhaps the most interesting part though, was the dime-store philosophy that sandwiched the meat of the offer:
Hello, chief :)
Old men are dangerous: it doesn’t matter to them what is going to happen to the world.
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The light shines in the darkness and the darkness comprehended it not.
My God, these folks don’t know how to love — that’s why they love so easily.
It’s almost like opening a fortune cookie.


Everybody’s copying Dr. Bronner’s.
Everybody’s copying Dr. Bronner’s soap.
Cool! Blog-comment Exquisite Corpse! Um …
“Everybody’s copying Dr. Bronner’s soap,” she whispered furtively.
“Everybody’s copying Dr. Bronner’s soap,” she whispered furtively, as she slipped away into the long dark cloak of dusk.