To: The Guy on the Bike On Third Avenue
Re: Talking on Your Cell Phone

I know that it's your business if you don't want to wear a helmet. And I know that lots of folks ride their bikes against traffic in Manhattan. And you know, it's your cell phone; you can do what you want.

But really, I think that if you want to survive into your thirties, you might want to stop doing all three things at the same time during rush hour. Just a tip.

Oh, and to the guy eating the chocolate Hostess cupcakes? It is rather impressive that you can fit the whole thing in your mouth, but please don't. Thanks.