Why Can't I Have a Job Like That?

R.W. Apple, writing for the Times, goes on a distillery tour in Scotland (just like the Scotch tasting Kenny G. and I went to, except a thousand times better -- and it was in Scotland, not west Chelsea). Now, eagle-eyed readers will remember that Mr. Apple wrote an article several weeks ago extolling the pleasures of Scottish food that somehow failed to mention haggis. Perhaps all the scotch he was 'tasting' caused him to forget the haggis?

And in other Timesian food news, Lawrence Downes desperately tries to put lipstick on a pig in this article about poi. In fact, he's so effusive about the stuff that I wonder if he's ever actually had any. Poi, for those unfamilar with it, is a gooey, starchy, tasteless paste made from taro root. It's so appetizing that there is an enduring fake legend that suggests that poi was originally used as roofing paste, and only became a foodstuff after a starving western explorer (it varies, depending on who's telling the joke, but it's usually Captain Cook) mistook it for sustenance.