There's A Party In My Mind

I could hardly answer the question of Men are pigs: yes or no? without expecting to be asked the converse:

Women: Are all of them psycho?

Well, the short answer is it depends.

What do you mean it depends? Isn't that a wussy answer?

Um, let me explain.

You see, it really depends on what you call psycho. Thing is, two of the major differences between women and men are

  1. women tend to be much more in touch with their feelings than men (we do have them, but they're often ignored)
  2. women tend to be much more aware of subtle, non-verbal cues than men (not all men are oblivious, but most are)

Why? Who knows? It is, once more, a nature or nurture question that I can't really answer (probably a little of both, but I'm not wearing my behavoiral biology expert cap today). What's important, though, is that these are real differences.

And these are the difference that cause these sorts of problems. Let's look at a sample dialogue (our players are M (for Mike, Mac, Malcolm, or Mark) and F (for Fiona, Francine, Flora or Faith)):

M: Hey, look what came in the mail. An invitation from Alex and Jordan. Looks like they're gettin' hitched.

F: Really? When?

M: Ummm. Looks like next month.

[a short time later, during which F has attempted to signal her thought process (see below) non-verbally]

F: [lower lip trembling slightly] Do you think that this relationship is going anywhere?


See, the problem lies in the thought process the two go through. For M, the thought processes goes something like this:

next month? guess i better remember to reserve a tux.

And then he goes on to think about the rest of the mail that arrived that day.

But for F, the thought process is a little more complicated:

getting married? already? let's see... they started going out... wait, they started going out when we did... well, where does this put us? are we falling behind schedule? should we even be on a schedule? my god, i'm already... which means if i want kids... does he even love me anymore? it's been a while... so am i just part of the decoration already?

So, as you can see, there's a serious gap already, and that's even before anyone has even opened their mouth.

So clearly, there's a very large difference between how men process information and how women process information. Not only that, but how they present information is totally different, too.

To M, F's question about "The Relationship" came out of nowhere. Most men would agree with him. However, to F (and most women), it's a perfectly logical question to ask.

Now this little discussion was about something really very straightforward. You can see how something like this could get far more complicated in a very short period of time (common issues include other men doing things for their significant others, friends/relatives having kids, co-workers of the opposite sex, and so on).

Combine this with the female tendency to invest these moments with emotion (as countless men have observed, men have no defense against tears), and you have the classic male response: that girl's just nuts!

So you see, when I say that the answer depends, it really does depend. What is entirely rational and sane to one partner often appears completely nuts to the other.

(Of course, if you start boiling bunnies for breakfast, well, that really is psycho)

(I mean, I think that a little ragout de lapin can be quite tasty, but making it with pets is just wrong).